Shattered Heart by Ann Stewart and Stephanie Nash Blog Tour
Thursday Excerpt:
Alex pushes me up against the brick wall
and not lightly I might add. With his
arms encapsulating me, he rests his forearms on the wall beside my head and its
déjà vu all over again. I remember us
being in this same position not that long ago.
Not the same bar, but the same feelings of having him so close, yet so
far. So much has changed since that
first night, but one fact still remains the same: I want him.
Alex leans his forehead against mine and
pushes himself closer. I can feel his
ire melting off of his body as he slumps against me, breathing me in. I know what this is doing to him. His arms, normally so strong, are
trembling. His breath, normally so calm
and even, is ragged. And don’t count the
bulge struggling to break free from his jeans.
Again, my eyes involuntarily flutter.
“So, here we are again.” Of course, he’s referring to our compromising
position. It was just yesterday that
Alex was stroking me, kissing me, running his mouth along my body. I had the strength to push him away then, but
I don’t know if I have it tonight.
I raise my eyebrows and give him a
questioning glare. “Is this your way of
giving a girl time?”
“Don’t know…I’ve never had a girl ask me to give her time. Then again, I’ve never loved a girl enough to
care about what she wanted.” His
statement is honest, laced with confidence and sincerity. “So, is that what you want out there? Is that how you want to spend your time? You know, if that’s what does it for you, all
you had to do was ask. I’ll always take
care of you.” A cocky grin touches his
lips. I’m not sure if I want to slap him
or kiss him. He leans back, perusing my
plunging neckline and skin tight dress.
“I can tell by that dress alone what you came in search of tonight.”
My face feels flushed even though I
should be insulted. “I know what you can
do, Alex. Trust me. I know firsthand what you’re capable of.”
“Really?
What’s that?”
I gulp as his finger travels down the
line of my cleavage, toying with the neckline of my dress. No. I
won’t allow him to do this to me. Not
after seeing him with Sandy tonight. Not
even his touch, nor his words, can bring me out of this despair.
“Your touch is tantalizing, yet tainted.
I know where your hands have been. Every
touch, every kiss, they’re no longer special because you’ve shared them with so
many different women. You’re right, I
don’t need anything from the men out there nor do I need anything from the man
in here,” I lie. I really wish that I
could say that with more conviction.
“Tantalizing, huh?” His dimpled grin is heartwarmingly adorable,
but it upsets me that he suffers from selective hearing and only focused on a
portion of what I said.
“Alex, you have to stop this,” I practically
whisper.
“Look at me, Hart.” I concede and stare up into his demanding
blue eyes. “What exactly is this?” His eyes rake over my body, making me quiver
with each inch he visually covers. “Are
you talking about the fact that I can feel how much you want me?” He leans down, whispering in my ear. “I bet if I dipped into those sexy panties
you’re wearing you’d be soaking wet. I
can practically smell you and trust me when I say that you smell just as good
as you taste.” He runs his nose along my
jaw line drawing a small moan from me as he inhales.
“I didn’t come here for you,” I breathe
back.
“You sure as hell fooled me with the way
you’re panting. If I’m not mistaken,
with the look you’re giving me, you’re attempting to figure out the quickest
way to get my clothes off and inside you.
Am I right?”
“I-I came here f-for Janice,” I stutter,
after foolishly attempting to push against his chest. I can feel his heartbeat underneath my
palms. And even though Alex seems calm,
his heart is frantic as he pushes against me.
“Listen, she just broke up with her
boyfriend. Honestly, I’m just trying to
help her get over him. Nothing more, I
promise.”
Ice melting. That’s the look Alex has in his eyes with the
mention of heartache. “Oh, you would
know something about that, wouldn’t you?”
And just like that, the switch has been officially flipped. No longer is sexy Alex out to play. Nope, now it’s time for brooding Alex to take
his turn. “You two are two peas in a
fucked up man-hating pod. You decide the
best way to forget about an ex-boyfriend is to just move on to someone
else? Sounds familiar. What do they call it…a rebound fuck?” I reach up trying to slap him, but Alex
reflexively grabs my wrist, stopping me.
He knows nothing of the ache I feel inside, an ache that is unrelenting
no matter how often I try to keep busy in an effort to not think of him.
“Her man cheated on her! With a client! I’m sure you know a lot about that.” Two can play at this game. Alex’s grip loosens as his face turns to one
of confusion. “What is she supposed to
do? Mourn some asshole who didn’t
appreciate her?”
“Wasn’t it not that long ago that I let
her leave work to go home and take care of herself? How do you go from being heartbroken to
chatting it up with strippers in the matter of seconds? I swear I’m the chick in this
relationship…talking about respect and actually giving myself time instead of
jumping on the first warm body.”
“Are you kidding me? Look at you talking about warm bodies and
rebound fucks, being Mr. High and Mighty, when you just left this very room
less than twenty minutes ago with your precious
Sandy!” I hate the taste of her name on
my tongue. I hate even more that I just
let Alex know that it’s bothering me.
“What in the fuck are you talking
about?” He seems anxious. He must think I’m an idiot if he actually
thinks I believe their visit was innocent.
“I’m not stupid, Calvin,” I answer through gritted teeth.
“Don’t call me that. EVER.”
Alex leans in, his face mere inches away from mine. “Don’t fucking push me, Elyssa.”
“Again, I’m not stupid. I saw with my own eyes. You were with her today and I definitely
remember you leaving with her yesterday.
So next time you want to try and control my life whenever you see fit,
just remember who is rebound fucking who!
This is my life! I can make my
own decisions, just like you appear to be.
If those decisions are wrong, then God forbid that I actually get the
opportunity to make a mistake.”
Visually Alex looks like I just ran him
over with my car. He doesn’t know how to
handle me when I’m being defiant. More
calm than before, “I’m not trying to control you. I just want you to admit that you’re not over
me.” He pushes closer again. “Just like I’m not over you.” He lifts my chin, forcing me to look at
him. “I don’t want some asshole taking
my place while I’m giving you your space.
Seriously Elyssa, their like fucking vultures waiting for the death of
our relationship. I won’t let you go.”
“You think I’m not scared of the same
thing? Especially when it seems like
you’ve already gone and found yourself something to tide you over.” My eyes dart to the closed door.
“What?!
Are you talking about Sandy?” I
nod my head as I pull my face away from his touch. “
“Would it bother you if I started seeing
someone else?” His voice is soft as his
fingers trace my lips.
“It would shatter me,” I mutter the truth
against his fingers.
His hands move to the nape of my
neck. “Then why are you doing this?”
“I really should go check on
Janice.” I push against him trying to
escape this conversation before I tell him something I know I shouldn’t.
Alex pushes me back against the wall and
places his weight against me. “I miss
you. I’ve never ached for someone as
much as I do for you. I watch you every
day as you go on with your life as if we never happened and it kills me.” The shiver that rocks me to the core is
nothing I’ve ever felt before. I can
barely breathe. “Please…tell me why,”
Alex begs, letting his head rest against my shoulder.
I run my fingers through his hair, just
as I have many times before. Only this
time I’m trying to comfort him when I know I can’t give him any more. “You’re past is part of you. I get that, I really do. The problem I’m having is that it haunts
me.” Literally. ”I need to know that I can get over the fact
that you’ve shared yourself with so many women, when I’ve given myself to you
and only you completely. You’re the only
one who’s had all of me.”
“Don’t you see…you’re my only one. The women
before meant nothing…they mean nothing.
You’re my Hart.” Alex steps away, head down, defeated as I
step around him and open the door. I
don’t look back. I don’t dare for fear
that I’ll crumble in front of him.
No comments:
Post a Comment