Hi Nicholas please
Tell us a little about yourself.
Sometimes, I am a journalist. Sometimes, I am a ghostwriter. Sometimes, I am a corporate suit & tie zombie. At the core, I am a writer. To tell you about myself, I need to tell you about my book, titled The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself. I wrote a book in tribute to the love of my life. Lynn passed away at the age of 37. This book saved my life in many ways. I could have fallen into depression, drugs, or other negative behavior. I decided to do something creative. I used to get published in magazines and anthologies. All of my poems and stories were for women I was attracted to. While coming down on ecstasy, Lynn once got very upset and said, “No one will ever write something for me.” She felt she was never good enough. Well, I wrote a book for the girl who thought no one would ever write for her. Hurricane Sandy devastated New Jersey. During Hurricane Sandy, I had to move into my parents’ basement. Many houses did not have power. My laptop was powered by our generator. Seeing the loss and devastation, I felt inspired to preserve the memories and honor Lynn’s life. At the start of the story, I was a New Jersey punk rock skater kid who got into the rave scene during the 1990’s. The story captures the come down that followed. The book is filled with hard drugs, kinky sex, and an endless amount of music references. I am very proud of it. Just like Lynn, the book is very different. I think I am very different too. As a couple, we were not like all the rest. I wanted my book to capture that. It is not a romance novel, but it is a love story.
How did you become a writer, and did you always want to write?
I love books, films, and music. When I was a kid, I pretended to be a rock star, an author, and a film director. Before the cable guide was on television, they had printed up cable guides that would describe the films and shows for the month. I would make my own cable guides with my own films and shows. I would write my own screenplays. I love music and I have been in bands, but I am not a talented musician. I love art, but I am not a talented painter. The only talent that people saw in me was writing. It is the one thing that is 100% mine and did not make me feel useless. I love writing. I love telling stories. After Lynn passed, I realized that telling true stories in a creative way was something I felt I had a talent for. I do not know if it was the subject matter or the way I told it, but people liked it. So, I felt I had to tell Lynn’s story. It was as if I did not have a choice.
How do you hope your readers react to the stories you write?
Interesting question. I would hope that it would change them in some way. This book is not a formulaic romance novel. This book gutted me. It was therapeutic. It was life changing. I thought the coolest way for me to write the book was to be brutally honest about Lynn, but primarily, myself. I want the reader to connect with Lynn and myself. I want them to appreciate any and all kind of love they have in their life. Lynn and I had an honest and fulfilling relationship that I never saw any other couple have. I felt our story had to be told. Because it is a book about second chances and overcoming addiction and depression, I would like to think the book will give readers hope.
Although I am not some bestselling author, I have a loyal following. I have received many messages that my book changed their perspective on life and love. Some people say they are now more open-minded towards kink, fetish, and BDSM. Some people told me that my book actually saved their life and helped them turn away from their suicidal thoughts. See, the title, The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself, is a metaphor. It does not promote suicide. In fact, the one chapter of the book that does deal with a suicide attempt, is called, “The Uncoolest Way to Kill Yourself.” There are several meanings for the book title that are revealed as the story unfolds. For Lynn and I, the coolest way to kill ourselves was to love. We were both drug addicts and criminals. Love saved us. It was not religion or psychotherapy. We suffered from depression, had self-destructive tendencies, and suicidal thoughts. By being completely honest with each other and letting ourselves trust each other, we used our love to kill off the people we were. We became the people we wanted to be because of our love. Sexually, we explored BDSM and Femdom. That changed our lives. People have this view of the BDSM lifestyle as simply a fetish, but it is so much more than that. It was the honesty and the trust that became the romance. After I lost Lynn, writing this book in a brutally honest way became the coolest way to kill myself. I was going to write this book even if it killed me.
Another thing that truly humbles and amazes me is my street team. Everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING, about this book was rooted in love. This was not written for money. I am not looking to be some famous author and say dumb fake BDSM statements to fangirls. I am looking for honesty and truth in love. My editor is also the woman who did the cover. She understood that I wanted to do something different and from the heart. She was the first to truly push me to follow through on this. I have a magnificent street team. They call themselves The Coolest Street Team. I knew absolutely nothing about public relations and book promotion. These ladies read my book and loved it. Out of the kindness of their hearts and from their own time, they promote the book. They make teasers. They are so cool. The fact that I wrote a book and these people did so many positive and loving things for art, for my art, is the coolest thing. Everything about this book, from creation to promotion, is about creativity and positivity.
Other than writing great stories, what other goals do you have for your life?
I want to help other writers, artists, and musicians. I need to be around creative people. I would love to be involved in film, radio, music, or television. Although there is drug use in my book, I do NOT want to do heroin or cocaine ever again. That part of my life is over and I am proud of that. Hopefully, my story can inspire others who have dealt with addiction. I do have another book coming out. I want to get that finished.
What do you like to do in your spare time?
I love music and film. I can talk about music and film all day. I am not a sports guy. The only sports I like are skateboarding and snowboarding.
Right now, I am promoting The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself, but I am working on the prequel. It is short. It shows how I became the Nicholas who you meet at the start of The Coolest Way. Basically, it is about my very first love, and is set in the 1989 New Jersey punk rock/ hardcore scene. It is titled Chipped Black Nail Polish. It’s a tribute to a New Jersey punk rock girl.
What stories can your fans expect from you in the days ahead?
Right now, Chipped Black Nail Polish is next. I will be also be editing and helping out with a book titled Tell Me Everything. My editor wrote it. It’s a very true and honest book about love, divorce, and Femdom from a woman’s point of view. Femdom and BDSM play a very large part in The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself, but obviously, my book was written from the male point of view. Tell Me Everything is taking Femdom and BDSM from a woman’s point of view. It is written by a woman. Just like my book, it’s all true… but names have been changed.
What would you like to say to your fans in New Zealand and others worldwide?
I would love to visit! As far as New Zealand, I am a fan of Flight of the Concords. I do own the extended versions of The Lord of the Rings DVDs. I even like the horror films of Peter Jackson, like “Bad Taste” and “Dead Alive.” New Zealand is beautiful and I would like to visit one day.
Appreciate and love the people who love you. Tell them you appreciate and love them. Please read The Coolest Way to Kill Yourself with an open mind and an open heart. One more thing… If you are a reader, please look deeper. Do not give up. Look for more creative and original books. The new romantics are here. There is nothing wrong with the typical romance novel… However, many of the very popular books that deal with BDSM do NOT represent the BDSM community in a safe and honest way. They are written to make money and exploiting the BDSM community and lifestyle. There is a whole new wave of honest people who are writing very romantic love stories that include real BDSM and they are not writing just to sell books. They are trying to create art. They are trying to help others. We are the new romantics. We are a part of something very, very cool. Come join us.
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